In an effort to save on air conditioning costs at the state capital, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie flew to Iceland early yesterday morning to personally investigate how much ice his state could acquire from the country. The governor offered to swap a Superfund site in return for enough ice to cool down the capital for the remainder of this summer, but his proposal was met with skepticism.
Undeterred by the rejection, but determined to find a little time for rest and relaxation, Governor Christie was helped into a jet black watertight swimsuit and went swimming in a fjord outside of the capital of Reykjavik. It was there that tragedy struck: A whaling fleet mistook the governor for a Minke whale, which is roughly the same size as Governor Christie, and harpooned him.
The governor's office released a statement that read the governor died instantly, but the captain of the ship that harpooned Christie said he screamed like a little girl, demanded to see the most expensive doctor in the country, and when he was told Iceland only has socialized medicine, died of a heart attack, though the blood loss from the harpoon would have killed him within minutes.
It's not all bad news though. The governor's carcass is being flown to Somalia where 1,000 malnourished children are expected to be able to eat for a month.
Taking Conservatives Behind the Woodshed: The Right Has Never Been So Wrong (eBook on Amazon)
Taking Conservatives Behind the Woodshed: The Right Has Never Been So Wrong (eBook on Barnes & Noble)
No comments:
Post a Comment