I like to write. It's the only thing I've ever been able to do without much effort, and with no formal training, and I really enjoy it. Most of all, I like to write humor (satire, parody, farces, etc.). Those few souls who actually read my satire believe, as I do, that it is world class original humor and can compete among those who are well known in the field.
But I have an insurmountable problem: I am disabled with agoraphobia, which is the fear of crowds, loud noises and social situations, along with panic and anxiety, and the only way to sell humor is to be known as a humorist, which I never will be due to my disabilities. I can't do stand-up, I can't put on shows, hell, I can barely leave my house most days. So while I find writing humor to be fun and relaxing, it will never pay the bills and at this stage in my life I have to concentrate on paying the bills.
Thankfully for me, I'm more than a one-trick pony. While writing original humor is what I want to do and am very good at doing, most people will say that my non-fiction writing is better. Personally, I don't like writing non-fiction. It's very hard work, and it's incredibly tedious to fact check every single point; and it has taken me several days to fact check just one item I know to be true, and without corroboration I can't write it. I'm not going to be like Fox News or the right-wing blogs that just make shit up and report it as true — my non-fiction writing is backed by verifiable fact and evidence, period.
Which brings me to another very interesting issue: I have a non-fiction project that took more than six years to research and about 22 months to write, but I am not allowed to publish that work until I move to a state that recognizes my First Amendment rights. Yes, you read that correctly. Where I presently live, I am prohibited by United States law from publishing a true story about myself, because it involves a whistle-blowing issue and a major US corporation. At present, the laws protecting that corporation's illegal acts are stronger than the laws guaranteeing my right to freedom of speech and expression.
I'm not making that up to be theatrical or melodramatic; it's the truth.
What is also the truth is that no matter what I do, my satirical writing will not sell, simply because I will never possess the right name under which to write humor. If I were a well known comedian, all my books would be on the bestseller lists. Not because the writing is the greatest ever, but simply because when a reader purchases the book, he or she will know it is going to be funny. After four months of trying to sell my eBooks, it seems most people won't even take a chance on a $0.99 eBook of humor written by an unknown. The one book of parody I wrote under a pseudonym 11 years ago, outsells my current political satire writing by a ratio of 15:1, and the pseudonym book doesn't sell very well.
So the publication of "The Right Has Never Been So Wrong, Part 2," due out later this month, will be my last attempt at writing humor and trying to sell it under my own name. I would happily ghostwrite humor/satire/parody for someone who is well known, but I know that's never going to happen so there's no point wishing for it. The non-fiction book I will be publishing when I am allowed to leave my present state and move to a state that recognizes my First Amendment rights is what I will always be known for. While I am not allowed to publicly speak of it subject matter, I have privately spoken of it to around fifty people and the universal reaction is "I can't wait to read that book!" When I tell those same people that I also write humor and it's available right now, the universal reaction is, "I can't wait to read the other book!"
I feel sad that no one wants to read my original and world class humor, but if my non-fiction is what sells then so be it.
The Right Has Never Been So Wrong, Part 1
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